Dear:

You make me happy when I am sad, you make me happier when I am already happy. You always brighten up my day. No matter what. And for that I love you. You make me smile when I am down, you make my heart beat a million times faster like i’m going to get some psycho heart attack. And for that, I miss you. You give me answers to questions I cannot solve by myself, you taught me how to be a good person and you opened up my eyes to yours. And for that I love you. I like it when you do flicky thingy because it makes me laugh. Typing this is making me smile.    You are the one person that is always around me, always there to hold me, always there to talk to me, always there to comfort me , always there to tell me my shit marks are good, always there to make my life just that little bit better then you have made it for me already. And for that I love you.

I actually don’t know what to write anymore, I have so many thoughts of which I cannot put type out because if I were to compare the amount of thoughts to the amount i’ve written there wouldn’t be a number to compensate.

But all I can say is that I love you. I thank you now for being in my life, being a part of my life, being everything in my life, and I thank you in advance. For being there for me when need be. I love you Mitchell.

Homestay

“The thought of being away from you for so long never crossed my mind until it happened. Like a lost, wandering soul, I feel incomplete without you around me.” –

She stood in the doorway of her dormitory, homesick and tired; puffed and motionless. She had searched every single room in the campus, as big as the White House, in search for him, barging into every single room in search for the missing puzzle piece that completed her life.

It’s only when you lose everything,

then, and only then,

will you realise what means the most, who means the most, and why.

The beginning of the end

Illuminate;

To wish a wish called life; recreate this happiness.

I refuse to make this void.

Annihilate my soul.

Each duplicated with the number of times you told me those words.

Wrangling with this silence it seems.

My words are put to rest.

 

Worthlessness;

Emancipate my heart, this feeling has engulfed me.

Suppressing my will; disrupting the oscillations of my wakening.

This alacrity is despicable, and my words are now ineffective.

A nugatory law called fate; I have abashed my mind,

I have composed myself a melody comprising of irrational vexation.

So I sing this lullaby.

 

Chagrined you are, repugnancy flows through your veins.

The angels are dejected; so despondent it drives them insane.

Their tribulations cause to sunder their wings, and they fall.

Into the depths of hell, of sadness. Insane they are.

They are angels no longer, but soldiers waiting to die,

Waiting for the guillotine to fall.

They wait for God to save them, but he is gone.

Who will help them.

Nobody.

Want

I want to know how it’ll end
I want to be sure of what it’ll cost
I want to strangle the stars for all they promised me
I want you to call me on your drug phone
I want to keep you alive so there is always the possibility of murder later
I want to be there when you learn the cost of desire
I want you to understand that my malevolence is just a way to win
I want the name of the ruiner
I want matches in case I have to suddenly burn
I want you to know that being kind is overrated
I want to write my secret across your sky
I want to watch you lose control
I want to watch you lose
I want to know exactly what it’s going to take
I want to see you insert yourself into glory
I want your touches to scar me so I’ll know where you’ve been
I want you to watch when I go down in flames
I want a list of atrocities done in your name
I want to reach my hand into the dark and feel what reaches back
I want to remember when my nightmares were clearer
I want to be there when your hot black rage rips wide open
I want to taste my own kind
I want to be wrapped in cold wet sheets to see if it’s different on this side
I want you to come on strong
I want to leave you out in the cold
I want the exact same thing… but different
I want some soft drugs.. some soft, soft drugs
I want to throw you
I want you to know I know
I want to know if you read me
I want to swing with my eyes shut and see what I hit
I want to know just how much you hate me so I can predict what you’ll do
I want you to know the wounds are self-inflicted
I want a controlling interest
I want to be somewhere beautiful when I die
I want to be your secret hater
I want to stop destroying you but I can’t
And I want and I want and I want
And I will always be hungry
And I want and I want and I want…

Wind in the willows

I felt the wind, give itself shivers. The ominous adventures of the brown paper bags, first situated on the reaching branches of a dysfunctional tree.