I wake up to find myself on the floor, motionless, and scared.
“Why are you here?” I think to myself. I try to say the words but nothing comes out. I can see your face, but why are you here.
I feel dizzy, who’s shaking me? “Can you hear me…?” I hear far off in the distance. Who is that? And why do they care…?
Oh, it’s you. “You’re going to be okay” someone says. But I’m not okay, I’m never okay.
You say you love me, but you don’t.
I know you’re here for me, but you’re never there.
I know you’re right besides me, but I see someone else.
How I try to say those words, I know you’re right in front of me, I can see your face, but why can’t I move, why can’t I open my mouth, what’s wrong with me?
But, you’re only a figure of my imagination, something that ceases to exist, a memory. Lasting only in the back of my mind, appearing every once in awhile, but why now. Why at this moment, this moment where everything appears vivid to me, a vortex of thoughts. Spinning me, confusing me. But why do I want to talk to you… what is that urge.
I want to tell you, how much you mean to me? … No.
I want to tell you, how much you hurt me? … Maybe.
I hear sirens, maybe it’s your voice, and oh how that eerie voice lingers in my ears. It’s like a sad melody that never ends. Depressing.
“Her body is in a state of shock” someone shouts. “MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!” another calls. I don’t even know what’s happening. What is happening? They seem to know.
Something cold drops onto my face, like a tap, leaking. Emotions that I’ve never felt before come rushing to me. What is this?
A bumpy ride, ahead of me. But I know you’re still there, looking at me, so gloomy.
“Do you know what’s wrong with her?” someone asks. “She has…” another replies. What I have, I cannot remember.
Who was that replying for me? Why cannot I talk for myself? …What’s wrong with me! I’m motionless, cannot speak and nothing seems right, not at all.
“There’s nothing… do… her” I hear someone say. Things are becoming unclear now. “We need to… support… save…too” I hear another person say. I think it’s a doctor, but why am I at a hospital?
“She has amnesia, it’s really bad. And she sleepwalks a lot. We found her in the middle of a highway; she got hit by a car. She was apparently sleeping, the car did quite some damage and she’s now paralysed, I’m sorry but there’s nothing we can do for her.” The nurse told my mother.
All I could hear was wailing, sobbing, and crying. All I could hear was pain.
Tears flow down my cheeks, onto the pillow. I try to open my eyes, but I can’t.
I tried to yell, “Help me” but all that came out was “Ugh”
I tried to tell them to stop, but they could not hear me,
And there’s nothing that they could do.
It was inevitable… a lonely, sad, death.
A day I never wanted to anticipate… the time that you would never wanted to come, came. So I took my last breath as I felt my self plummet into oblivion.
Saying goodbye to what I had, and saying hello to the world to come.
